be nosy please
- 1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?
- 2.When did your last hug take place?
- 3.Are you a jealous person?
- 4.Are you tired right now?
- 5.Do you chew on your straws?
- 6.Have you ever been called a tease?
- 7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
- 8.Do you cry easily?
- 9.What should you be doing right now?
- 10.Are you a heavy sleeper?
- 11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
- 12.Are you mad at someone right now?
- 13.Do you believe in love?
- 14.What makes you laugh no matter what?
- 15.Who was the last person you talked to?
- 16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?
- 17.Will you get married?
- 18.When was the last time you smiled?
- 19.Does anyone like you?
- 20.Do you secretly like someone?
- 21.Who was the first person you talked to today?
- 22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
- 23.What are you NOT looking forward to?
- 24.What ARE you looking forward to?
- 25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?
- 26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?
- 27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
- 28.Are you a forgiving person?
- 29.How many TRUE friends do you have?
- 30.Do you fall for people easily?
- 31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?
- 32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
- 33.Who was the last person you drove with?
- 34.How late did you stay up last night and why?
- 35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
- 36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?
- 37.Can you live a day without TV?
- 38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
- 39.Three names you go by...
- 40.Are you currently in a relationship?
- 41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
- 42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
- 43.What’s your current problem?
- 44.Have you ever had your heart broken?
- 45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?
- 46.How many kids do you want to have?
- 47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?
Sex is not the climax of a relationship, pardon the pun,
But those moments at 2am when you wake up to her lips on your lips, her sleep-heavy body lying across yours, knowing the world is asleep whilst you move together, calling to a god that neither of you believe in…
Those moments are what I live for.
You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.
If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”
On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.
The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.
There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?
Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.
This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.
For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.
an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)
HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH.
Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.
It’s also just rude and disrespectful to patently ignore what someone has told you regarding their personal space, body, and time. Get a clue.
I will always reblog this. Always.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone.
I guess what really forms you as a person is what you do within your family to receive love or attention. In my family, what you had to do to receive attention was to have good conversation at the dinner table or for me to do well at school, and those were really my focuses because that was what was valued the most.